On paper
Sheet music from 'In Our Softening' now available + the joyful & bewildering process of notating music + ghostly Chopin
Let me begin by saying that when I first started working on my album In Our Softening, I never had any intention of notating any of it — of committing it to paper. I was still in that tender/smarting phase of attempting to distance myself from my colleagues in contemporary classical music, a world that had shaken me to my core one too many times. To notate my music would have meant throwing my hands to the air and calling myself a Composer (with a capital C). But even so, I felt no need to notate my music. The music lived in my body, I performed from the heart, and there was simply no reason to translate it to the page. Opening up access to other performers was never part of my thinking. But, sweet reader, the reason we are here — my feelings on this have softened and gradually shifted. And so, alongside asks from strangers, colleagues, and family, I decided to put a few notes on paper.
Three of my songs are now available digitally in sheet music form - In Our Softening, Tatuś, and In This Life. Tatuś is the simplest, technically-speaking. In Our Softening and In This Life provide more challenges. All three give generous room for dreaming and interpretation. My hope is that they will appeal to hobbyists, students, and professionals alike. Have a look and please share with the pianists in your life.
In Our Softening sheet music
Tatuś sheet music
In This Life sheet music
Notating music that has lived in my body for years was bewildering. I’ve recorded this music, released it, and I’ve performed it countless times. There is an expansiveness in performance — an infinitude of techniques, subtleties, and gestures that a performer simply does. Notation, on the other hand, is inherently incomplete. A performer must imagine the expansive possibilities beyond what they see notated. My task was to start with the expanse and distill to the page. It was a puzzle — figuring out how to gently guide a performer while also leaving room for their wild imagination, all the while learning to detach myself from music that I had embodied so fully.
All told, I’m pleased with where I arrived.
Music is about connection, and this sheet music is the next step in a lifelong journey of discovering points of interconnectedness. Who will perform this music? Who will play it quietly in their home, stumbling through slowly, a pet sitting at their feet? Will a student discover something new within these notes with the guidance of their teacher? It is remarkably humbling to perform music live, equally so to release music in recorded or notated form. Listeners become participants, and then storytellers, altering a music’s narrative. The same is true for the relationship between interpretive performers and composers. It’s a beautiful, reciprocal dance that I’ve long seen as a circle of gift-giving. To create music is to give it away. To give music away is to be bestowed with the greatest gift in return — a thread to the unknown.
Chopin
On Dec. 31st, I quietly released a recording of Chopin’s Waltz Op. 64, No. 2. I had recorded this piece a few years ago and never got around to actually doing anything with it. I’ve been working on my next record of original music and a Chopin project, though intriguing, has been distant in my mind. As part of working on my next record, Sam and I have been spending a lot of time with a Roland Chorus Echo recently (a kind of tape machine and truly one of my favorite sounds/tools/instruments — you can hear it throughout In Our Softening). And so, a new version of this Chopin recording was born, played through the hazy landscape of the tape echo. I think I’m slowly working towards a Chopin record, someday, but until then, enjoy this ghostly waltz. Produced by Sam Torres.
Find it on Bandcamp (strongly preferred), or wherever you listen to music.
I’m grateful for you. Yes, you.
xoxo
Sophia